Nothing Comes Easy (sperm!au) - [ziam oneshot]
Author’s note: I’m so, so, so sorry and please don’t read this. Thanks to all the people who read the first half when I posted it in the wee hours of the morning sometime last week.
For the past hour, Zayn has been comforting Liam about their impending propulsion through Kevin Federline’s penis—a frequent occasion, but today’s ejaculation holds special meaning. Today, one lucky sperm would fertilize an egg.
mass url clearing, p. 1
please message me if you want
wait whoa can we discuss this photoshoot for a sec
"okay i think we’ll do a theme of funny faces"
"wow zayn that’s a really silly, albeit a bit creepy face but a+ work for silly"
"wow liam that was great with the eyebrows you have such silly brows"
"okay we’re copying liam, niall. okay. just.. you’re good. go eat now."
"no, harry. SILLY FACES."
"okay yeah no can we go back to before"
ONE DIRECTION TODAY DKGJDSGLSGKLLZV
OKAY SO I THINK I MIGHT BRING A PICTURE FOR THEM TO SIGN IF POSSIBLE
SHOULD I DO
or should i just have them sign my cd like a normal person
coming soon to my local hospital
- doctor: so explain to me how you managed to rip your vagina
- me: i tried to fit five dicks in there
- me: look have you even seen one direction
- me: they were only going to be in my state for a day okay
- me: yolo